Living for Love and Dying for Loyalty Page 3

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “I don’t usually have sex with a man I just met, but I am feeling you.”

  “I’m feeling you too, baby.”

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Baby, you can ask me anything you want to ask me.”

  “Do you have a girlfriend?”

  “As a matter of fact I do.”

  “Thanks for being honest. If you don’t mind me asking, do you love her?”

  “I’m actually in love with her.”

  “Wow, she is one lucky woman.”

  “No, baby, I’m the lucky one.”

  “Well I enjoyed you. I’ll be leaving in the morning. I don’t want your girl to catch me over here and then she gets fucked up.”

  “Aja, don’t you want to know her name.”

  “I’m cool, boo. That’s too much information for me.”

  “Her name is Aja.”

  “Boy, I see you got jokes tonight.”

  “I’m dead fucking serious. You just fucked my brains out with no introduction .You cooked me dinner and treated me like the King I am. I have never had a woman make me feel the way you do, especially at your age. I want to go to bed with you at night and wake up to your beautiful face in the morning. Please move in with me, baby. You won’t want for anything.”

  “I really don’t know about this. Everything is moving so fast.”

  “We both are taking a risk. This is the first time I’m ever doing something shit like this too.”

  “Okay Rah, I’m in, but I have to tell my brother first. So you have to give me some time.”

  “Don’t have me waiting long, Aja.”

  “I won’t, baby, but while I’m here let’s take a shower and eat this dinner I cooked. No funny business in this shower. If we have sex fuck again we will never eat.”

  “I’m not making any promises.”

  Aja is the total package. Over dinner, she told me how her brother raised her and still takes care of her. I informed her that now she is my responsibility. I also asked if I could meet her brother. I need to holla at him and let him know there’s a new sheriff in town, and I’m not Andy Griffith.

  Chapter 8 - Carmen

  I can’t believe I’m so in love with Markese that I have gotten comfortable with being the side chick. I have stayed quiet about my kids because of the love I have for Markese. It’s starting to get the best of me, and I’m definitely losing sleep over this shit. No matter what I do, I will never be enough to make him leave Trish. I have given him the kids she can’t and it still doesn’t make a difference. When I called his phone this morning, I knew it was Trish who hung up in my face. Markese and I are on good terms so he had no reason to hang up on me. I’m glad she answered his phone. I’m sick and tired of hiding our relationship. I bet that bitch was in shock. Hopefully she cried her poor heart out just like I do every night.

  In reality, I know it’s not her fault because she doesn’t know anything about me. What hurts the most is the fact that he puts her before my kids. It’s been five years and nothing has changed. I can’t even tell my father about what’s going on because he doesn’t even give a fuck. He told me from the beginning not to fuck with Markese, but I did anyway. And I’m paying for it.

  It’s been so long since I have seen or spoke to my father so I was elated when I called and he invited me to have lunch with him. Walking into Nuevo Leon I bumped into none other than Rahmeek “King Rah” Jones.

  “Oh my God, Rahmeek, I didn’t know you were out. How are you doing?”

  “You would know if you would have kept in touch.”

  “Rahmeek, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just walk away from you. I just couldn’t take being in that big house by myself.

  “Bitch, please! You can’t give any better excuse than that? At least keep it one hundred If you gon’ try to hold a conversation with me. Tell the truth, you left me for that nigga, Markese.”

  “If you must know, I became pregnant by Markese. How could I come visit you or sleep in your home knowing I was with another man? You would have killed me and him.”

  “Damn right! As much as I did for you, I should break your fucking jaw right now. You were supposed to be a down ass bitch.”

  I attempted to touch him, but he yanked away

  “Bitch, don’t touch me! As a matter of fact, don’t even speak when you see me.”

  Just like that, he walked away. At that point, I realized I made the biggest mistake of my life. Rahmeek gave me the world. Being with him made me so happy. If I could have remained loyal, I wouldn’t be going through this bullshit with Markese. I wanted to cry. I lost my appetite. I walked out of the restaurant and went home to drown in my sorrows. I can actually say that I am one miserable woman.

  Chapter 9 - Aja

  I have been thinking of ways to tell Markese that I’m moving out all day. I have basically been living with Rahmeek since the night we had sex, but I’m not about to tell my brother I’m moving in with him. I might be dick silly, but I’m not brain dead. Since I already paid my security deposit on my condo, it’s best for me to keep my own shit. I’m not about to be the type of chick who gets put out of a man’s house when I got my own shit. Markese didn’t raise no fool. These niggas be in their little moods and don’t nobody got time for that.

  All I can think about is Rahmeek. His swag is through the roof and he is such a gentleman. Rahmeek caters to my every want, need, and desire. He is spoiling me rotten. He has furnished my entire condo and took me on a shopping spree out of this world. It’s more to him than just material things. We are always going out on dates. The Lakefront is our hangout spot where we have picnics and fuck on the sand until the sun comes up. He is so romantic. The thing that really turns me on is the fact that he is one thug ass nigga.

  We’ve been kicking it for about three months now, and I have yet to tell Markese about us. I can tell that Rah is becoming impatient. I know that Rah is a drug dealer. I let him be the man he is and I stay in my lane, like a good wife is supposed to. I don’t volunteer information about my brother either. I try not to talk about him. Markese would kill me if I was running off at the mouth.

  I’ve been spending all my time with Rahmeek; that I haven’t been able to keep up with my hair appointments. My hair looks a damn mess. Rahmeek keep me on my back so much I can’t keep my hair up.

  Walking into Trish’s shop, I noticed a lot of mean mugging bitches in there as usual. I love being the center of attention. “Hey big sis! What’s up?”

  “Don’t Big Sis me. Where the hell have you been?” Trish asked with her hands on her hips.

  “I’ve been kicking it at Niyah’s house.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Aja.”

  “If I tell you, Trish, you have to promise you won’t tell Markese.”

  “Please! I barely see him to get dick, let alone snitch on your ass.”

  “Okay then. I met someone and I am really feeling him.”

  “Oh my God Aja, I am so happy for you. Markese can’t trip. You’re a grown woman. He needs to understand you are not going to be a little girl forever.”

  “I’m so scared to tell him, Trish. I don’t want him to be mad at me.”

  At this point, I could not control my emotions. All I could do was cry

  “Aja don’t cry. I’ll go with you when you’re ready to tell him. Now wipe your face and give up the goods on this man is that got you sprung.”

  “Well, his name is Rahmeek. He is thirty years old, and I met him a couple of months ago at a party.”

  “What’s wrong Trish?”

  “Damn, Aja, I don’t know about this. He’s a little too old for you. What did you say his name was again?”

  “Rahmeek.”

  “That name sounds so familiar to me, but never mind that. Are you sure that you’re happy?”

  “I am so happy being with Rahmeek. He makes me feel so special and so loved. His sex game is award winning. He be having my ass climbing the walls.”

 
“Listen to your little hot pussy ass.”

  We both started laughing. I can’t help it though that man makes my pussy cry like R-Kelly.

  Trish’s phone started to ring as we were talking.

  “Speak of the devil; this is Markese calling me now.”

  Trish “Hey baby, I’m back here in the office with Aja,” Trish said.

  Markese entered the office and looked mad as hell.

  “Damn, Aja, I been calling your ass all day. Why the hell haven’t you been answering your phone?” Markese yelled.

  “I’m sorry, Markese. My phone is acting crazy. I’m about to go to T-Mobile and grab a new one.”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it. Since when did you start lying to me?”

  “Damn, baby, why you jumping down her throat like that? She is grown as hell!”

  “Was I talking to you, Trish?”

  “Hell naw, but I’m talking to your ass.

  “Trish, you better pipe the fuck down. You been talking real jazzy lately and it’s starting to really piss me off!”

  “That’s the only thing I can do to get your attention, Markese. You already know I do and say whatever I want. Let me get the fuck out of here. I got clients anyway.”

  “Trish, we’re going to finish this conversation at home.”

  “Nigga please! I’m surprised you know your address. Get the fuck out my office with that bullshit.”

  “Markese, what the hell is wrong with you and Trish? I have never seen y’all behave like this.”

  “Fuck that shit Trish is on! What’s up baby girl? I miss you so much.” Markese hugged me so tight.

  “I miss you too, big bro, I have something to tell you.”

  “I’m all ears, lil sis.”

  “I met this guy who I am in love with. Before you spazz, hear me out. He is so good to me, Markese, and he spoils me rotten.”

  “Where he from, Aja”?

  “He’s from out south.”

  “No wonder I haven’t heard about this.”

  “Markese, I’m grown now. You can’t stop me from falling in love. I have to grow up. That’s why I got my own apartment.”

  “So, you’ve been hiding all this from me, Aja? This man got your nose so wide open that you keeping secrets from me,” Markese raised his voice and I knew he was pissed off.

  “Markese, it’s not like that. I love you with everything inside of me. No one can ever come between us.”

  “Why haven’t I met him?”

  “Because I wanted to tell you about him first.”

  “Damn, do this nigga have a name?” Markese was yelling at this point.

  “His name is Rahmeek.” I held my head down because I couldn’t look him in the face.

  “Come again? The look on his face let me know that there was a problem.

  “Rahmeek? Why? Is something wrong?”

  Markese stood up and knocked the chair over, scaring me to death.

  “Aja are you crazy? That nigga is a drug dealer! He’s a thug ass nigga! Not to mention, too old for you. You can end this shit now or I will end his life. I already don’t like dude. Of all the people to fall in love with, you had to go and fall in love with Rahmeek’s ass.”

  “What are you talking about Markese? Rahmeek is good to me. Why do I have to stop loving him because you don’t like him?”

  “Because I said so. He is not good enough for you. End of discussion.”

  I have never stood up to my brother, but that was about to change. I had to take a stand and fight for my relationship,

  “Markese, in case you forgot, I’m a fully grown woman. I appreciate everything you have done for me, but it’s time I start making decisions for myself. Rahmeek is who I choose to be with. There is nothing you can do to change my mind.”

  “Like I said, end it or he is a dead man walking.”

  “Really? You would do that knowing how I feel about him? I thought I knew you, but obviously, I don’t. Never in a million years did I ever think that you would make me choose between you and the man of my dreams.”

  “I love you more than life itself Aja, but I don’t trust Rahmeek. Ever since I had a meeting with him, shit’s been fucked up. That nigga didn’t get what he wanted so he using you to get to me.”

  “No he is not! He doesn’t even know that you’re my brother.”

  “Bullshit! Don’t be a fool! Listen to me and listen to me good...if you value that nigga’s life, you will end this ASAP.”

  “I will not end my relationship with Rahmeek to boost your ego. I mean this with the upmost respect Markese. You walk around like you own the world. You think you have the final say in whatever I do. All this energy you’re putting into my relationship, how about you work on yours. Trish loves the ground you walk on and she barely sees you. Go home. Be a man to your woman and stop running my life. On some real shit, go home, Markese. Trish really misses you. I’m moving out tonight. It’s time for me to grow up. Please let me do something on my own for a change.”

  Markese moved closer to me and pointed his finger in my face. “So you’re choosing that nigga over me... your family...your own flesh and blood?”

  “No. I’m choosing Aja for a change!” I yelled. Markese was so mad that he threw his cell phone up against the wall. “Fuck it. Since you’re grown, don’t call me for nothing. When he start dogging you out, don’t call me. When he gets to whooping your ass, don’t call me either.”

  Tears rolled down my face because my feelings were so hurt. Markese’s words were so mean and hurtful.

  Markese stood up to leave. Before he left he turned around.

  “Oh, yeah don’t be out with that nigga when he gets wet up. You might become a casualty of war. Loyalty or death. Remember that shit, Aja.” He walked out and slammed the door behind him. I just sat there and cried my poor heart out. I love my brother with everything inside of me. I would never go against him. It was never my intention to fall in love with someone he hates. The comment he made before he walked out felt like a knife in my heart.

  I couldn’t believe Markese said some shit like that to me. I have been crying ever since I left the shop.

  ****

  I removed all my belongings from their house. Trish cried because she hated what happened between Markese and me. She understood my side of the story, and was pissed at Markese for his behavior. Niyah has been blowing my phone up all night, but I am too upset to talk to anyone. All I want is Rahmeek but he is out handing business .I don’t nag him because he is a busy man. He is out doing what he has to do to make a better life for both of us, no matter the means. Rahmeek is my baby. I support him through any and everything.

  I’m lying in his bed in complete silence and dark, staring at the ceiling. I’m debating whether or not to tell him about Markese’s threats. I decided that I have to because Markese meant it. He don’t make idle threats him or them crazy mutherfuckers he run with. I decided to read my latest book, Rozalyn by Shan. Reading clears my mind off all the bullshit in my life.

  Rahmeek finally made it in the house. I was so happy to see him. I jumped in his arms and cried like somebody killed my ass.

  “What’s wrong, Aja?”

  “I told my brother, Markese, about us. He said that he will kill you if we don’t stop messing around.”

  “Markese? Please tell me you’re not talking about Markese from out west.”

  “Yes, that’s him.”

  “You got to go! It’s about to be a war all over your dumb ass not telling me who your brother was.”

  “I didn’t think that it would matter! Please, baby, don’t be mad at me.”

  Rahmeek grabbed me and looked into my eyes. “Baby, it does matter.”

  “I told him that I love you, and that I’m not going to leave you just because he wants me to.”

  “Aja, you’re really showing your age right now. I don’t know what Markese taught you, but the streets don’t love nobody. It’s money over everything. Ever since I met your brother, we’ve been bee
fing. Your brother tried to play me like I’m a lame. If he wants a war, that’s exactly what he’s going to get.”

  “What the fuck is wrong with both of you? Y’all really trying to kill each other?”

  “Look, this shit between me and you got to end. I can’t have you losing your family because of me. Baby, I love you and I have enjoyed each and every moment with you, but shit can get real serious. I don’t want you in the middle of this. Now get the fuck out, Aja.”

  “Rahmeek, you don’t mean that. I just lost my brother because I chose you. Please don’t do this to me.”

  I cried and pleaded, but Rahmeek put me out of his house. Luckily, I have my own house. This is the worst day of my life. I lost my brother and the man that I love, all over some bullshit. I cried so much that I made myself sick. I could not keep anything down. I decided to shut everybody out of my life and focus on me. Fuck Markese and Rahmeek! They can kill each other for all I care. Both of these men claim to love me, but when it came down to it, they showed me otherwise.

  Chapter 10 - Trish

  I seriously can’t believe the way Markese has been acting. Lately, he has been snapping and being very disrespectful. I barely see him anymore. Our house feels so empty and broken. There was a time when I was his everything, but now, all he is worried about is getting money and killing Rahmeek. He is so stubborn. He doesn’t realize that he is hurting Aja and me with this silly vendetta.

  Markese got me fucked up if he thinks I’m going to keep living like this. His ass hasn’t been home in a week. He calls every day, all day, like that makes up for his behavior. I deserve better than this bullshit. I have been his down ass bitch since I was fourteen years old. I’m the one that fucked with him when he didn’t have shit, not a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. I am the one who trapped with this nigga day in and day out. I helped him build his so-called empire. Now this nigga want to try to act all brand new.

  He must have forgotten who I am. I can get down with the grimiest of niggas and bitches, but he gone learn today. Since he won’t come home, I’m going to see his black ass. I usually never leave the house without my high heels on, but today I’m rocking gym shoes and a jogging suit. It’s about to be a rumble in the Towers, especially if he try to front or jump stupid. I have a lot of tension built up inside of me.